Hi. I have a question, and I need some opinions please. I am in a bit of a quandary.

Here's the back story. I live in a home owned by my family for almost 20 years. I have lived here for nearly 8 of them. I am a Mom, with 2 kids. I have some neighbors that moved in about 4-5 years ago. They have a set of parents/in-laws that used to live in their home. These parents moved back to Mexico for awhile,; and have just returned. I have always been on good terms with all of these people. (I used to do massages for the Mom, when she lived here last time.)

Anyways. I am a smoker. (fairly heavy) I do not smoke in my home because of the children. I have a cool back patio, where I hang out, morning to night. Have my coffee, work on my computer, BBQ, drink beers, listen to music...and smoke my nasty ol' cigarettes.

There is a window right next to my patio area, that goes to a bedroom next door. I have always tried to be courteous and keep the noise down, asked the man who used the room if the smoke bothered him, etc. He always said no...and all was well.

Until tonite. The Mom in law came over to talk. First she offered me a free white leather couch that they were trying to sell this weekend for $150, (which was a joke b/cause it is full of scuffs & rips! :) Then, she asked if I could give her a massage for the couch. I said of course. Then came the biggie....she asked me if I could not smoke on my patio because she likes to keep her window open, and it blows inside her bedroom. (Which I am sure really, really sucks for a non-smoker.) I hesitantly told her that I was sorry for her inconvenience, that I would think about it, and I would try not to smoke out there at night, and that I liked having them as neighbors, and don't want to have any problems with them.

HOWEVER...that the patio area is my only real spot to hang out and smoke, BBQ, have birthday parties, etc. That I work out there on my art, and my computer EVERY DAY! And, to make things worse, I am a total night owl. (Can u tell?) So I said that I need to think about this, and take everything into consideration before I say or do anything.

I tried hanging out on the front porch tonite instead. It totally sucked. No privacy, no seating area...and the smoke goes into my kids room AND the neighbor lady's grown son & daughter's room, (the owners of the house that the mom is staying in) Plus, when I go inside to attend to "Mom" stuff, as I have to go back & forth often; my computer is left out front, waiting to be stolen!

I am a very nice person, for the most part. I take everyone into consideration. AND my Mom taught m to be a courteous smoker, (don't laugh! We do exist! :) So, my question is...do I inconvenience myself for this lady? Or do I politely decline; and go about my business as usual?

(My ex- Husband told me to tell her to take a flying leap...and do what I do! Hehe. He told me to tell her to "take it up with the wind!" Which unfortunately is something I told to another neighbor about 10 years ago, when we lived in an apartment building and she said the same thing. I guess I wasn't so 'courteous' then, now was I?)

So, I apologize for the lengthy back story; but I really want a valid, unbiased opinion to consider all factors. And I completely realize that my smoking on my patio has got to suck for her. So what do I do? Go off and hide in some corner and bother someone else? I am bound to piss someone off no matter what I do. I know everyone has the right to clean air quality...especially in their home. But I am in my home too. Isn't there something that we all do that bothers our neighbors? Loud music. The wrong kind of music. Stinky food cooking. Crying kids. Fighting spouses. Gangsters. Drug Dealers. Jehovah's Witnesses. :) (Meth heads that live across the street. J/K) Okay, I'm totally being facetious now!

So what's the deal? I would be ever so grateful if some of you, (smokers & non) could give me an opinion on this, please.

Thanks,

The Dirty Birdie Smoker Chick :)